Inspired after reading Lean In by Sheryl Sanberg : My story

How are you? I hope it’s not too late to wish you a happy new year ! May 2014 bring us more luck and happiness. Perhaps this is the year to make our wishes come true.  The last 4 months of my 2013, I was lucky enough to be on maternity leave.

During these period my attention and energy was diverted and concentrated on my family.

I spent quality time not only with my now 3 months old son (fully breast feeding – add on to the tired ‘O’ meter) but also my elders daughter who just turned 3 years old last Christmas. They both require different sort of attention and this often zaps out mommy’s energy.

With modern technology and ALWAYS ON society that we are, I did try to “curi-curi” check and reply my work emails and calls. I much prefer whatsapp cause a couple of times during my telephone conversations, Kefli would be wailing away in the background and a few times where Kaseh would be distracting me. I kept apologizing profusely to my caller and request to return their call when it’s more convenient. Unfortunately there’s never a more convenient time. 

Luckily, it’s not always crazy. Occasionally I do get lucky where both of them would sleep simultaneously, giving me some room to bathe, nap and catch up on some reading.  Even though I do have a helper to assist me with my kids, but most often mommy would be the preferred person they want to hang out with (I am glad). So, during my maternity, my maid was kind of left doing the other house chores like doing the laundry and cleaning up the house and I took care of my babies.  It was time well spent and invested on my children.

With the recent ushering of 2014, my maternity leave ended. I started work on the 2/1/2014, after almost 4 months of maternity leave (2 paid and 2 unpaid).  

I am blessed to be kicking off this New Year with a brand new career and a newborn baby boy. Come Chinese New Year, we will be moving to a new place (our current place is getting a bit cramp now).

Somehow a new workplace and a newborn doesn’t usually sound that exciting, new responsibilities at work combine with sleepless night and nursing? I’ am already tired thinking about it. How does mom divide time for both?

Well exhausting it may sound, but we mothers, will always have that extra energy and will power to make that extra effort and pull everything thru.

I don’t know how we do it, but we just do it.

For centuries, childcare and household responsibilities are a mother’s playing field. Some fathers do help out, but more on a voluntary basis, but the core custodian is still the mother. She’ll be the one anchoring, maneuvering, planning, and executing the household day-to-day operation. COO of the house.

However, in the past years, women have been entering the work force as women received better education opportunities and compensation. So, there’s nothing extraordinary about a mother who works now as compared to before, where there are less women in occupation.

Nothing extraordinary? We hell, I think it’s amazing that these women manage to juggle multiple roles and still keep their sanity intact. As Sheryl Sanberg wrote in her book Lean In –

“Give us a world where half our homes are run by men, and half our institutions are run by women. I'm pretty sure that would be a better world.”

― Sheryl Sandberg

In 2014, you might think that the above have materialize but the truth is the scenario have not much shifted since the days of our moms.

I admit, even thought my husband does a lot more than what my father used to do for my mom – like bathing, changing, feeding, playing with our kids and washing the dishes whenever he can, I still wish that he could help out more with grocery shopping, cooking and spearhead some household projects like beautifying the garden or remembering when the kids visit to the doctor should be.

If mothers can contribute their fair share into the household income, can fathers please take charge of the other half of the household chores? It’s only fair right? 

For any working mother, the support system surrounding her is extremely vital and it must come from fathers (who else?) and then family and then friends.

Who will be taking care of the children? Who will ensure dinner is served on the table? How about the daily house chores like cleaning up the house and ensuring the dirty clothes are washed? All these are issues that do not usually effects  working fathers.

My support system may differ from yours but, there’s nothing unusual about it, as I know some friends who shares similar system. And this system is very common in Malaysia (I’m not sure how it works in other countries, but yes I would love to hear from you – please email me).

In Malaysia, there are mainly 4 common supports systems for working mothers.

1.     Daycare centres

2.     Live in maid

3.     Grandparents

4.     Live in maid plus grandparents

I am once again blessed that both my parents are residing in KL. It’s becoming rather common these days for senior citizens to be living in the Klang Valley, simply because they have move to the city to stay with their children. In my case my parents both from Perak , moved to Kuala Lumpur to seek better employment opportunities during their younger years and now have permanently reside in Bandar Utama.  

My mother is 66 years old and my father is 71 years old. At such golden years, I don’t expect them to be running around taking care of my super energetic kids, I hired a maid and send them off to my parent house where, they act as supervisors and keep and eye on the maid and my kids.

My elder sister and my younger brother observe the same system too because their in laws are staying in Johor.  They both send their maids to our parent too.

It’s a mini daycare at my mother’s from Monday to Friday with 6 kids and 4 maids.

We ferry them early in the morning, drop them off at Bandar Utama and go to work and pick them up after work and usually return home after Isya’ prayers and dinner. We reach home almost close to 10 pm, just in time for bed and start the routine all over again at 7 am the next day.

Sounds tiring? Yes it is, but it’s the only system that gives me that piece of mind at work. Knowing that my children are in safe hands and grandma and grandpa

Are monitoring and nurturing them with good values, while we go out there to make ends meet.

I know of a friend whose parent’s houses ten kids and five maids - three are hers and the rest are her siblings.

My parent has been the backbone and pillar to my support system. They have given me the best education that they can provide (equal opportunities given to my brothers too), push me to excel and now take care of my kids so that my sister and i can Lean In.

Thanks Mak and Abah ! I don’t know if I can do the same for my children. But I know in order for my daughter to Lean In and rise in her career, I need to do the same for her. Not only I aspire for her to be in the workforce but to hold a leadership position in the field of her choice.

I also pray that when her time comes to juggle between a career and family, we can see a significant shift in roles and major support from policy makers, society, husbands and companies so that more women can strive at the work place.

Note :

I am blogging this after getting a chance to read Sheryl Sanberg – Lean In. My boss, Lina was the one who urged me to read it.  She is so inspired by Sheryl’s

experiences and thoughts on how working mothers can strike a balance – work and family and how women can get ahead in their career.  I picked up the book the next day at Borders Mutiara Damansara.

The views and opinions of the above are solely the views of the author.

Golden Palm Iconic Resort and Spa, Sepang - best ke ?

Wow , lamanya tak update blog, been a few months since i note down my travels. So what happened ? If you read my blog , you would have known that i got pregnant , but i did some travelling during those 9 months but i got lazy..... Well it's not really lazy but pregnancy really took a toll on me , fatigue, work stress and etc , hence the mia act.

Yes i gave birth recently - 8/9/2013! A baby boy @ 2.5 kg and we name him Kefli. One month earlier than expected date , hence he is so tiny.

Still in my 2 months maternity leave , i decided to take an extra month by clearing my annual leave and taking some unpaid leave .So in total i'll have 3 months leave , yahoooo. Still this is uncomparable to other countries like Uk and Australia which allows up to 6 months maternity leave. Malaysia is also one of the country with the least maternity leave in comparision to some of her Asian counterparts.It's my only opportunity, once work commence i don't think i'll be able to just take off like that .

Coming to Kefli's 2nd month , i decided to take a short vacation . Kefli can't travel far or take the plane - i don't want to stress him out too much . Plus if he gets cranky , i'll be effected too ! Port dickson Avillion would be our first choice but we've been there many many times. thus we wanted to explore new places.

I googled and thought Sepang Gold Coast would be the perfect choice . I booked a 3D/2N stay at the Golden Palm Iconic Resort via Agoda (soon to be Avani due to change of management) despites various negative reviews we went ahead anyway.

Prior to arrival , i requested for a room closest to all facilities . We were granted the first room and the closest to the lobby ( room 001) . Hubby was concerned that our room is far from the buffet restaurant Bila Bila and the pool . It turned out that the location of our room is actually the best for us , cause it's walking distance from the lobby , near the beach and kids club. We recceed the pool , not only it was small and crowded but the water is dirty and murky too . So we are better off filling our time by the beach.

Super crowded pool . In this case Avillion PD and Hyatt Kuantan tops our list .

Ok here's what i like about the hotel

1. Room was spacious and tastefully decorated. Build on sea, thus you get that cooling breeze. My daughter loves chilling by the balkony and watch fishes swim by.

2. Bed - we loved the bed ! Huge and comfortable , all 4 of us slept soundly thru out the 2 nights we were there ( of course i have to wake up every 2 hours to breast feed Kefli ) .

Barely 2 months old Kefli is enjoying the cosy and comfy bed.

3. Bikes - there's bicyles for everyone to use . Nice and enjoyable , also because the buggy service is rather poor . During peak period , you might have to "berebut" the bikes with other guests, unfortunately.

4. Beach - the private beach belongs to the resort is well maintained and filled with kids and adults activities such as beach soccer, batik painting, drawing, kite flying, swimming, bouncing castle and etc. I found these most exciting especially for family with young children like us.

Bouncing castle by the beach.

5. Kids club - the best so far for us compared to many other hotels we've been to. Spacious and located in the resort beautiful land scaped garden.

Plenty to do at kid's club.

What i don't like about the resort

1. Service - poor , extremely poor . May be it's because of the high occupancy and staffs can't manage the over whelming demand . It took them almost 6 hours to bring our extra blanket and our kettle ( the room's kettle was missing , so we asked for one to be send to us).

2. Distance - it's a long walk from all facilities especially if your room is located at the end of the palm. We were lucky that we get room 001. Tips - get room 001 - 008 to be near to the lobby and the beach . But if you want a better view and don't mind walking then get the rooms further down.

3. Buggy service - really slow , management should increase the amount of buggy. There's a waiting time of at least 15 mins. There are also times where there's no buggy at all. So you won't have a choice but to walk or take the bike ( not elderly friendly).

4. Food - the breakfast buffet is nothing to be shout about , for a resort such as these the quality of food is 1 star. The best buffet breakfast for us is from Golden Sands Penang . Even Avillion PD is better.

5. Lalat - flies Omg, this is such a turn off. During our breakfast buffet we were accompanied by ga zillions of lalat. We decided to skip breakfast on our second day . I cooked magee curry in the room instead. At least we know that our food isn't contaminated.

6. Parking - we got lucky and parked in the hotel compound. But many people complained that they had to walk very far to park.

Ok on average , it was a pleasant stay. We had a wonderful time. Bare in mind that this review is written from the point of view of a mommy and it's targeted towards family with young children.

I brought my 55 days old son and for those of you who are superstitious, this resort is absolutely all right , nothing spooky happened to us. Kefli did cry but that's because he is hungry and not because he sees .......muaha ha ha , just kidding.

Posted via DraftCraft app

Baby Names - Any suggestions ?

Can preggers fast during ramadhan ?

Assalamualaikum and salam ramadhan, it s my 4th day fasting and things are going smoothly , alhamdulilah ! When i told some people that i am fasting and almost 7 months pregnant , they gave me the "you crazywomen" look . Then i feel oblige to justify that i have no intention to harm my baby , and it's absolutely all right for preggers to fast.

At first , i thought i couldn't do it , i didn't have the confidence . When i consulted my doctor , she assured me that it's ok to proceed with fasting if i think i can persevere and have the will power to do it . In fact research have shown that , fasting does not harm the baby , it s really up to mom if she think she's up for it.

I tried fasting when i was carrying Kaseh. I didn't want to push myself and gave myself the option to break fast , if i feel tired or hungry . Surprisingly , i did feel a lil tired but my tummy wasn't growling like it used to . Amazing and unbelievable , cause i swear on normal days , i would usually have to munch on something every 2 hours. I don't get it , but i guess due to it's spritual nature, the al mighty is watching over me and making the journey a lot easier . Tq.

Thus , with this pregnancy i don' t see any issues in completing my fast thru out the holy month. However , a few tips for preggers who decide to fast this Ramadhan :

1. Sahur is a must ! Eat some carbo like rice or bread with something hot like milk or coco.
2. During sahur , eat some dates, they are really really good for you , gives you energy thru out the day , it s amazing !
3. Eat your obimin at night ! This is because obimin can increase your appetite and make you hungry , thus better consume before bedtime and not during sahur.
4. Nap , don t feel guilthy , just nap if you need to , 45 mins is good . And i have found a cosy corner in my office where i can just doze off in the afternoon . Improves my mood and productivity too !

So preggers happy fasting and take good care of yourself ! Xoxo

Posted via DraftCraft app

Alergic to Ipad !

Hey , i'm back ! I'm back ! Missed me ? Honestly , thisvis the reason for my disapearance:

I'm pregnant!! Apa kena mengena ? Well apart from the usual morning sickness , i am alegic to ipad ! For some weird reason . Ok , i wanna throw up now , gtg .... Will update soon !

Posted via DraftCraft app

Sebak So Sad!

I knew that this day would come, and today it did. Hari ini merupakan hari pertama Kaseh pergi school on her own. Usually she would be accompanied by my maid Karimah. Kaseh is probably the only kid in the kindy to be allowed to have a guardian for almost 2 months! My justification to her teachers is that , she just turned two and she would need someone to take care of her in school. I know, it sounds crazy to be sending my two year old to school, but it's play school where she learn to sing, develop her motor skills and most importantly socialise.
It's from 9am to 12 noon daily and after school she spends her time at Opah's house. I think that's fair.

Sol took the day off and i took half a day, just to make sure that her transision goes on smoothly. For a 2 year old losing a Kakak ( Karimah 's contract ended and she as gone back to Indonesia for good) and now having to deal with school alone is quite traumatic , i can imagine. So we wanted to make it as easy as possible for her.

Not so easy acctually, cause i ended up tearing when i saw her crying and calling our names. It was as hard for me as it is for Kaseh. I had to be strong and told Sol that i would wait in the car, while he settle Kaseh with her teacher's in school. Oh man that was tough.

Kaseh was crying non stop, and i just couldn't take it.

We were asked to pick her up at about 11.15am. Slightly earlier than usual cause it's her first day in school alone. Sol and myself headed for breakfast at a nearby mamak. That was acctually our first time in a very long time to have breakfast together, just the both of us. Even that, we couldn't stop but talking about Kaseh.

We got back to her kindy at 11.15 sharp. I was acctually nervous.

Never seen Kaseh so sad, hugged her thru out our journey back to grandma's house. I checked her progress with her teachers and they say it's normal for kids to cry and be sad , especially when their parents is around. Let see her progress for the whole week.

Kaseh's Progress:

Monday - Sol took the dah off and i took half day off. She was crying and Mrs Geetha had to calm her down. We left her crying and ran off, the more you linger at the kindy the harder to let go. So my advise is just leave her. You gotta be cruel to be kind.

Tuesday - From now onwards it's just me, cause Sol needs to be at work by 8.30 am and i have the more flexible work schedule, thank god. Followed her in to kindy, tried distracting her with some toys, tried sneaking out quietly but she is quick to notice. Once she sees mommy isn't around she cried and cried, teachers had to come her down. Picked her up at 12 noon today, and she was happy to see me, still sobbing but able to follow instructions from her teacher like , wear your shoes first Kaseh and saying good bye to everyone before she ran off to greet me. It' s a welcoming bonding between me and Kaseh. Before this she had Karimah to rely on, so it didn't really matter if mommy is around or not.

Wednesday - Kaseh noticed the routine already and started to merenggek the moment she woke up from bed, refusing to go to school and even refusing to shower. She woke up late , at 9 am and we only got to school at about 945am! She refused to shower ,thus i wiped her using a soft tower with luke warm water and got her ready for school. She showed another form of retaliation when she threw up in school. Ok 3rd day is suppose to get better right ? But seems like a lil bit tougher than yesterday.

Thursday - Still refusing to shower, and this time she wanted me to hold her while i'm driving.(please do not do this on the road ya). She begged to not be send to school, and started sobbing, i was so sad but i remembered what her teacher said, that she can't lose momentum, and we must keep going in order to set a routine for her.

Friday- Surprisingly she woke up very early today. She showered and was her chirpy self until she notices that i made a turn to the kindy instead of grand ma's house in BU 2.Started crying
But i had to be strong and leave her with aunty shiela.

I have a CNY lunch in the office and had to get Kaseh to go on the van with uncle ragu for her trip back from school, i couldn't pick her up from school and i got a little worried. But since Aidil and Amyra ( Kaseh's counsins ) will also be in the van, i was a bit relieved.

In the office, i got a bit worried, i wasn't sure how Kaseh will take the van ride. So i left the office and waited at grand ma's house just to check on her. In fact she did very well!

I got back just on time for the office CNY lunch.

Phew, what an adventure. I am so glad that tommorrow is the weekend ! But come Monday we will face another adventure !

Thanks for reading XOXO !

Posted via DraftCraft app

Abu Kurap!

Sunday, sunday,sunday this Sunday is a little bit different from the past 4 weeks for us. We are spending the weekend at home, running errands and taking a break from travelling. It's quite a relief acctually, it's nice to be home for a change. Being at home does not mean lazing about doing nothing for me, i'm the kind who tak boleh duduk diam ( can't sit still) , so there's plenty of things to be done around the house, one of it is taking Abu to the vet.

Abu is this kitten i rescued in TTDI on my way back from my morning jog a few months back at Taman Lembah Kiara.

This is how he looked then. After a month this is Abu.

It looked like a male to me and that's why i named him Abu, after the vet checked him out, he is acctuallyb a female ! Alamak !But i like calling her Abu, so i guess , Abu is short for Abulina?Abubedah, Abusara?Abuhana and the list goes on, but ok I'm sticking to Abu jugak regardless. Dah biasa panggil dia Abu.

My kucing ada masalah kurap and she's been scratching herself till her ear bleeds. I bought a tub of ubat (cream base) from the pet shop but it didn't work in fact it got worse. So i had no choice but to take her to the vet.

Heshmael's clinic for pet in Sunway Damansara, my friend Suzie told me about this clinic and i brought Abu here. It's really close to my house too !

Abu is diagnose with lice ( kutu) and this is apparently commom for stray cats. She was given
another type of lotion to treat the problem. According to the dr. some people apply ubat gamat at the effected areas ( usually the ears, feet, tail), but it will take longer to treat. So i decided to go with the

I asked the doctor if the kutu will attack us human too ! But she smiled and said it will only effect other cats, dogs and rabbits. Thank god !

So , that was Abu's first trip to the vet. She's scheduled to visit again in 2 weeks time, for follow up and vaccination.

Dr Zulfa confirming that Abu is acctually a female ! So nama pun tukar jadi Abuleha ! Thanks for reading XOXO!

Posted via DraftCraft app